The mother is very important for the child's spiritual, physical, and mental development. The person primarily responsible for the education of the child is the mother.
The mother prepares the child for life, leads him, and teaches him how to cope with life's difficulties. On the other hand, the feeling of motherhood is the door through which all the good feelings and good qualities in a person's life enter. Üsküdar University Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan says it is very important for the mother to know motherhood well. Rector Tarhan wrote in Zafer Magazine; Considering the mental health problems of children, there are educational and attitude mistakes that the mother makes unconsciously. For this reason, a well-meaning mother loves her child very much, but if she treats the child incorrectly, it harms the child's mental health. Love and discipline are two important pillars in a child's education. Just as giving too much water to the flower harms the flower, too much love can pose a risk to the child.
What should be the ideal behavior of the mother?
The mother should use her love and protection in a balanced way. There are some mothers who do not give responsibility so that "my child will not be sad". When the child is 7 years old, he should know how to tie his shoes. To determine whether the mother is protective or not, child psychologists look at whether the child is tying his shoes or not. If the child does not know how to tie a baguette, the child is 17 years old and asks the mother what to put on the bread for breakfast. Such behaviors are seen in the children of foster mothers. Before the child starts walking, it is necessary to separate the bed and the room before starting school. There is no harm in sleeping together with the mother and child in the previous period. Because closeness and touching are very important in the development of the child... The child gets used to the ready and the easy. In short, the child becomes lazy. The child does not even want to get up and buy water, he expects everything from someone else, he wants ready-made solutions. Because the mother does not double what the child says because of the excess of love and protection. The mother, who says, "Don't be upset, let's not put him in trouble, but let's not get him into trouble," acts overprotective and intrusive towards his child. Thereupon, the child cannot develop his/her skills in solving life's problems by saying "My mother thinks for me, she thinks what I have to think, she does what I have to do". The child expects everything from the mother until puberty. Expects others after puberty. His struggle, entrepreneurship, self-confidence decreases.
Since the mother's love is too much, the child wants to be independent of the mother and do different things; but on the other hand, he feels unhappy because he sees the mother as anxious, and he experiences a contradiction in his inner world. It also causes him anxiety. For example, the children of such mothers develop a fear of school when they go to school. They perceive it as if there is a bomb going to explode at home, and they get the feeling that "my mother is not happy, I should be with my mother". The mother should comfort her child by stroking the head and take him to school. It needs to distance itself, that is, the child needs to learn difficult conditions. The aim is not to raise a child, but to prepare him for life.
Causes of hyper motherhood
Hyper motherhood occurs when the mother's anxiety level is high. For example, there are perfectionist mothers. If he does 99% of something, not 100%, he feels guilty. Such mothers are anxious, they cannot relax, they cannot relax. These mothers want to intervene and interfere with the child a lot because they feel inadequate even though they are mothers. Hyper motherhood is also common in women who have problems with their spouses.
How can the mother correct herself?
There are harms done to the child because of goodwill.
The mother should know that the mother's excess of love harms the child. In child psychiatry, the attitudes of the parents rather than the child are evaluated; deficiencies in parenting practice are determined. The feeling of motherhood is biological. But maternal behavior is about social learning. It is necessary to learn about motherhood because motherhood is not learned by itself.
Do you have hyper paternity syndrome?
Usually, if the parents are perfectionists or there is a lack of a mother, the father starts to fall on the child. The father generally represents trust and authority. There is a father model who gets overly angry with his child, controls him excessively, interferes with what the child eats, drinks, and wears and restricts his freedom outside. There is the excess of love in hyper motherhood, excess of discipline in hyper fatherhood. Because of the father's excess of discipline, the child's self-confidence weakens. In other words, he thinks "I can't do it, I can't do it". In other words, the child develops a sense of inadequacy and inadequacy.
Key: Hyper Maternity Syndrome, kids education, child psychiatry, 0-6 age development and education
0 yorum :
Post a Comment