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| Child Psychiatry |
Why do children lie, why do they resort to this way? What should families do and how should they behave? Here is the answer to all of them.
There was a view that "If the system itself is broken, it is acceptable to lie in order not to be a victim of the system".
It's a very controversial subject. But my main concern is how people/children learn to lie.
The prevalence of lies
A normal individual is thought to tell an average of 40 lies a week.
Actually, Alex and Arda are also liars. While dribbling their opponents, they pretend to go right, they go left.
This is also a lie. Of course, we don't perceive it that way because it is in the nature of games.
96% of children lie to their parents. Does the child discover lying or does society teach it?
actually both
DISCOVERING THE LIE
Until the age of 3 and 3 and a half, children do not realize that their own thoughts are different from the thoughts of others.
In other words, he thinks that what he thinks, others think the same. Of course, in this case, there is no such thing as a lie in the child's mind.
But after the age of 4, the child realizes that his own thoughts are different.
Unless he says so, people are discovering that he won't know what I'm thinking or doing. In other words, he discovers the existence of lies.
LIE IS BAD
But that doesn't mean that kids start lying right away.
In the past, researchers thought that children thought lying was good, but society taught it was bad. But subsequent research has shown that the situation is quite the opposite.
The child discovers the lie, but also knows that the lie is bad. But he learns or discovers from his family that lying works in some cases.
If the parents do not understand some situations and take action, the child continues to lie. So what is this measure?
WHY DO CHILDREN LIE?
Until the age of about 11, children often lie to avoid punishment or to get praise. When asked why lying is bad, most children answer, "If you get caught, you will be punished." They don't have much idea about the nature of the lie.
But after the age of 11, the reasons for lying are different: to protect others, to be nice, to make yourself look good, to control your friends.
Eliminating punishment does not prevent lying. So it's useless to say tell the truth that I won't beat/get angry. In one study, the story of the shepherd who lied is told to children. After this story, there is no decrease in children's lying. Why? The emphasis is still on punishment.
EFFECT OF LIE
The child who lies needs to learn how the lie affects other people. The child who tells the truth needs to know that his relationship with his family will not deteriorate. The important thing for the child is to still feel that he is important. Lying is a sign of a troubled relationship and lack of trust between the family and the child.
The child needs to know that when he tells the truth rather than a lie, he will not be punished and that he will establish a relationship with the family on trust and honesty. Families emphasizing this can teach their children to be honest.
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