Self -trust represents the positive feelings of one's self and the belief in his own capacity. The sense of self-confidence in children is earned at the age of 0-6. When our child is 10 years old, he completed the development of self -confidence.
There are some parts that make up self -confidence. These; self -acceptance, self -awareness, self -confidence, action for purpose and integrity.
- Self -acceptance: I can be loved and valuable.
- Self -awareness: What do I need?/Do I know what my strong aspects are?/Do I know what my weak aspects are?
- Self -confidence: I can reach my goals.
- Purpose Action and Integrity: I can progress with stability for my goals.
Self -confidence development
Self -confidence in children starts from birth and develops for life. The most important role in the development of self -confidence falls to parents. The sentences and behaviors used by the parents against the child are very important. All of these are perceived and saved by the child. Perceived and saved messages also have a significant effect on the child. Öz Güven develops with the messages given by the family and continues to develop with the social environment with the start of the school.
There are factors that are important in the development of positive thoughts about the child. These; Parents' attitude towards the child, parenting style, is listed as the expectations of the child.
Self -confidence has 2 basic messages. First: “You are valuable”. Give your child unconditional love. A love -oriented love is conditional love. If you finish your homework, sentence patterns can be given examples of conditional love like I love you. Say that you often love your child. The second is: “You are enough”. Appropriate responsibility for the age of the child should be given and appreciated. He will feel enough when he can say, “I am doing this well”.
The self -confidence of the child who is love -seeing, his ideas are asked and given importance, given responsibility, who finds interest and intimacy when he / she needs, is not criticized and comparable and accepted as he is. The child, who cannot see the interest and closeness, is restricted by protective attitudes, who has perfectionist and non -appropriate expectations and strict rules, cannot see love, compared, criticized, and does not develop his self -confidence.
What are the symptoms of lack of self -confidence in children?
They have low confidence in finding a solution to a problem or achieving a job. They cannot cope easily with problems.
- Their behavior is arrested.
- They experience social problems.
- They are afraid to make mistakes.
- The feelings of shame, guilt and disliking are dominant.
- They avoid being criticized.
- They have difficulty saying no.
- They are affected by events quickly and negatively.
- They constantly criticize themselves; They even down.
- They escape from duties and responsibilities.
- They ignore their positive achievements.
- They have low expectations.
- They have difficulty in making friends. They are very impressed by the pressure of friends.
- They need approval.
- They have difficulty in limiting their relationships.
- They feel a feeling of not being loved, guilt and shame.
- They escape from taking risks for new experiences.
- They cannot express their own feelings.
- They cannot defend their rights.
- They cannot express their own thoughts.
- They have difficulty deciding. They usually ask the caregiver.
- They easily undertake the crime.
- They avoid social environments and they are worried when they enter these environments.
- Ask yourself as a parent
Is he aware that child behavior is not appropriate?
Is your expectation from the child appropriate for his age and is it above his capacity or his capacity and age?
What are your child's needs?
By doing these behaviors, what actually tries to tell you?
What can we do to support children's self -confidence?
- Give your child the right to often say.
- Allow them to explore and allow them.
- Support the development of problem skill. Instead, do not solve the problems. Be a guide instead of being a problem solvent.
- Ask him to solve his problems and appreciate his efforts.
- Take the time for your child.
- Give him the opportunity to express his feelings and thoughts.
- Give responsibilities to do. Responsibilities suitable for age should be given.
- Answer every question your child asks and explain. If you don't know the answer to the question he asks, you can tell you that you don't know, but you'll investigate and tell him.
- Listen and value the ideas that you share with you.
- Don't be critical and judging.
- Show unconditionally love and express love physically; This is important. Do not connect your love to a situation. Say it often that you love him.
- Do not compare.
- You should pay attention to your conversations with your child. The child takes his parents as an example.
- Accept that your child is an individual.
- While your child is talking, go down and look into his eyes and listen.
- "What do you feel?" or "What do you think about this topic?" Ask your ideas with your questions.
- Encourage him for situations where your child is forced. It is useful to encourage it instead of intervening when you use expressions such as I cannot. Children feel stronger when they are supported.
- Beware of your child's potential and support it to improve.
- Appreciate your child's success.
- Give your child the right to choose.
- Respect your child's preferences.
- Be the right role model.
- Value each other in the family.
- Avoid authoritarian, inconsistent attitudes as a parent.
- Avoid perfectionist behaviors.
- It should be given the feeling that I have achieved responsibilities.
Instead of tablet or television, the child should be found in social environments as different as possible. The opportunity should be given to recognize different people, environment and environments. The activities that will spend time with their peers are important for the development.
Play animation games with your child. Revitalization games are a very effective method for children with low self -confidence.
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